Day 281: Journey Home 7/11/2016

Wally

What a day… All in all Syd and I traveled for over 23 hr and 4 time zones…

London

Woke up at 6:00 in order to take part in the hotel’s breakfast. We then gather our shit to get ready for our journey home. We decided to try and leave early and beat the morning rush hour. Well since we ran out of cash we ended up walking about a mile with our shit down to the train station and then we took off on our 1.5 hr commute to Heathrow.

Heathrow

Sat around and read some books/magazines until our flight was announced.

Flight 1/3 London to Reykjavik

This flight wasn’t that bad, we had a row to ourselves and able to get comfy, buuuuuuut we were also right next to the restrooms…

Rekjavik International Airport

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We get off and book it to our gate and actually end up a bit early. I guarded our shit while Syd went to hunt down some food for us. And she came back with some shitty pizzas because that’s all they had… When we were about halfway through our meal Syd says,” FUCK wegotchangedtoanotherflightanditleavesin20minutes! “ So…….. we booked it to the other side of the airport just as they were calling people into the plane.

We gather all our stuff and make our way into a line, buuuuuut they seated the plane by sections and ours was the last to get called… Oh and we find out that because we got pushed onto another flight we now have separate seats… So we wait….. and wait….. and wait…. The entire flight was full of people looking to do connections in Denver. Anyways back to the seating arrangements. I’m sure you’re thinking oH Wally don’t worry I’m sure it’s ok, maybe you’ll be able to trade with someone by explaining your situation right???? Well?

NOOPE!

First of all I was seated in the middle seat on the right side of the plane… I fucking hate the middle seat…. If you got the window seat sure, you’re crammed in there, but you get a nice view here and there and you have something to lean on when you want to rest. When you have the aisle you can kind of pivot your hips a bit and stick out your leg in the aisle for that precious leg room. Buuuuut when you’re in the middle you get jack shit! You won’t be able to rest both elbows on the dividers, there’s nothing to lean against other that the seat directly in front of you and it’s just SHIT to be stuck in the middle between two strangers.

So keep in mind I have all those negatives already going for me and double it because LOOK AT MY LUCK! The person who sits next to me is a morbidly obese woman that had the faintest bit of BO. You know the kind! Like it’s about that time to reapply your deodorant so that you don’t offend anyone else with your odor? Or you know like a faint wafting of BO. I think that’s the best way I can describe this smell. Anyways if you’ve gone too hot humid basement filled with nerds polishing off a 30hr LAN party than you’ve gone too far on the body odor scale. ANYWAYS she plops down next to me and without skipping a beat asks for a belt extender… her arms and thighs oozed over the arms rests and set up camp on about 1/8 of my chair. Oh and she is RADIATING heat onto me because of her climb up the stairs to get into the plane. So yeah… No one wanted to switch with me.

Flight 2/3 Reykjavik to Denver

Kill me… There IS NO COMFORTABLE POSITION! I ended up watching some movies I had downloaded onto my phone. The Man From U.N.C.L.E, not a bad film at all I actually really enjoyed it and I watched Goodfellas again, I love that movie.

During the flight though I had to piss really bad, buuuuut Jabba sitting next to me had fallen asleep and seeing as how it’s such a laborious act for this woman to stand up I just waited patiently till she went herself…

The woman next to me kept shriveling up into the corner because I, through no fault of my own, invaded her space a bit, but she kept squirming and moving and setting up a pillow between us…. I’m not that close to you lady and believe I don’t want to be either.

Denver International

The instant we land, Syd and I are gathering our shit and running out the plane because we had to go through customs, get our bags, check our bags again, go through security and run to the other side of the airport in under 30 min…

It was freaking stressful, but we managed to do it.

Flight 3/3 Denver to Phoenix

It was so good to be on the plane that will ultimately take us to our final destination. Once you’re on you know that your job is done. We sat down and got situated and the day just finally caught up to me. I’m in and out of sleep on our final flight home, so it went rather smoothly.

One negative about this flight was that when we were running onto the plane they said I could only have 1 personal and 1 carryon. I had 2 personals; a fanny pack and a side bag. Both of these items are small and both of them fit easily underneath the seat in front of me. I’ve flown over15 flights and never had to worry about it, but on our last flight home they stop me… I look them in the eyes and use the clips on the side of my backpack and clip them to it. Similar thing happened to Syd to! She had to jam a painting into her little purse because it counted as an additional item. So she’s walking down towards the plane with painting that’s too big to even fit into her purse. Now miraculously we’re ok! C’mon people! I understand rules are rules, but use your own freaking judgement every once in a while!

Arizona

It’s good to be back in the US, kind of a weird feeling actually. We made our way to baggage claim and Neal and Dianne were already there waiting for us. It was so awesome seeing them in person! We hugged and caught up for a bit while we waited for our luggage, buuuuuuuut turns out American Airlines lost our shit….

Whatever, Syd talks to their baggage claim people and when they find it they’ll deliver it to us.

The Village Inn

Syd and I just wanted to eat a nice white meal, so we went to the Village Inn, similar to Denny’s or IHOP. The waitress that took our order is actually planning a big trip herself next year to Europe and was elated to hear about our travels. She’s only 18, but already has the know it all to want to travel and see the world. I wish her the best of luck in all of her future adventures.

OMG WHITE PEOPLE FOOD AGAIN! So happy…

Home

We just unloaded our shit, did a couple of things and went upstairs to shower and KTFO.

Side note

We’re finally connected on our phones again! You don’t know what it’s like to be disconnected for vast periods of time. I mean sure we’ve gotten use to it, but now we can have a trivial argument about some C list actor and be able to look it up on the go now! Or just being able to make and receive phone calls from someone has such a surreal feeling to it.

U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Syd

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It is crazy to think that this is our last morning eating a shitty hotel breakfast. We eat and get cleaned up. London has been amazing but now it is time to go home.

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July 11th, 2016 7:12 AM Holiday Inn Greenwich, our journey begins.

We make our way to the metro and it is about a mile walk. It was cold and windy but we made it. We get all loaded up and head to the airport. The metro ride was not bad but the transfer to one line did suck a little. We got to the airport and got checked in. We found out that we got to check another bag for free so we were able to check my Superdry bag and that is one less thing we have to worry about carrying around. Security was very light and we were able to get through no problem. We found some seats, got some magazines, and relaxed before the first leg of our trip. We had a couple of hour before getting on the plane.

The called our gate and we loaded up on the plane. It was so nice having the row to ourselves but it did suck being right next to both bathrooms. Whatever, we slept and watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I love HP. The flight itself was fine and the stewardess gave us some Icelandic Chocolate flavored with toffee and sea salt. It was so tasty.

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We got off the plane and found a spot next to our next flight to rest until it was time to board. I went to get us some food and log into WIFI. My phone started to go off with all these emails and I find out that we have been moved to a different flight. We race with the food and all of our shit to the other side of the airport. I talk to the ticket one and she says I have to go to the service desk. I leave Wally with all of our stuff and head to services. The woman is asking if I requested to change flights. WTF?! How could I have requested to change flights?? I was flying and landed and got an email that told me I was on a new flight. She said ok took our tickets and printed new boarding passes and retagged our bags into Denver then Phoenix. Well I did not look but she put Wally and I in different rows. We now have a 7 ½ hour flight not together. They bussed us over to the plane and I gave the stewardess her chocolate and said my normal thing and she said I never deal with assholes and I do not know why you would give these to me but thanks I guess. SERIOUSLY! Fuck you!! Yes, I do it with the hope I will get something in return but no need to be a dick. Not a huge fan of Icelandair btw. Also, Iceland airport is awful! There are no water fountains, you can only buy water, and the bathrooms are 15 minute walk from where all the transfer flights are and only 2 people working the info desk. We sat in the plane for over an hour waiting for people to get from connecting flights. It was so boring but Wally and I made the most of it. When everyone did show up we got situated and started our flight into the good ole U.S of A! AMERICA FUCK YA! I finished HP, watched the end of Dances with Wolves, some movie with Colin Farrell and Keira Knightley, Deadpool, Friends, and Frozen. The woman sitting next to me was not as bad as the one sitting next to Wally but she was still pretty awful. She would constantly lift the window shade up and down and we were on the side with the sun so it got really hot and really bright. She was bumping me and was complaining that they would not use her miles to buy food. Granted mine was not nearly as bad as Wally’s. I love him and feel so bad.  I watched as our plane crossed the border from Canada into the U.S and started tearing up a little. I cannot believe we are home. Well close enough. We are in our own country!!! SWEET JESUS!! It seems like forever ago yet not that long ago at the same time. That last hour into Denver was killer!! It seemed to drag on.

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When we finally landed we had less than 40 minutes to clear customs, go to the American Airlines desk, rescan and check our bags into the flight, go back through security and race to the other side of the airport to get to our gate. I have never had to do that on a connecting flight back into the states ever! Denver is the worst international airport in the states I have ever been too, it takes the cake from Jersey tenfold! The people are unhelpful, the customs dude was a dick, and it does not make any sense to have to do all of that to go to a connecting flight, especially since we were delayed coming in and now have to go to another section of the airport.

The customs agent takes the passport and our card, I explain that is for me and my husband then he asks Wally is this your wife. Wally, “yes, she just said I am her husband.” They ask where we were since leaving the USA and we explain the situation, then he starts grilling us on if we have household items, coconuts, or monkey skulls. WTF, no sir I do not have a monkey skull. It was really weird and frustrating. We head to the American Airlines ticket counter (oh, when we had the flight into Boston we were going to be flying Jetblue into Phoenix but our flights changed and we went into Denver they put us on American, which I do not like and never fly for multiple reasons. After everything that happened Wally sees why we will never fly them.) The woman at the counter has us re-weigh our bags and tells us that it is 3 lbs over but she will let it slide since she does not want us to miss our flight. Thank you so kindly for letting that slide!! Seriously, I have been on 2 flights already and the bag was fine how it that it is overweight now is?? It wasn’t when we left and I have not put anything in it! She was very incompetent and could not even pick our bags up Wally and to move them to the conveyer belt for her.  We raced through everything and ran to security. Well now for the first time in 8 weeks I have to take my shoes off at security. So we stripped down and run through. Well Denver has multiple terminals and you have to ride the metro to the right terminal, we caught it and jumped off at our terminal and sprinted through to the very last gate to get in line for our flight. We did it! OMG!!! The lady scans our boarding pass (mind you everything is still out from security, so we have a lot of loose items) we start to walk onto the jet way to the plane and she stops us and says can you come back here. You are carrying too much you will need to put everything away since we are only allowed one carry-on item. I explain everything fits we just were racing to get here and she still pulls us off to the side. I stuff my camera into the rolling carry-on and only have my normal size purse, the painting, and the roller, she tells me I have to put the painting in my purse because it counts as a carry on even though it is the size of my lap!!! I will let Wally explain his predicament with all his shit. I gently put the painting in the purse until we round the corner onto the plane and take it out. YOU DUMB BITCH, it fits under the fucking seat if I want to but I will carry it on my lap since it takes up no room at all!!

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UGH, American is the worst. This whole time I have an awful feeling that our bags are not going to make it all the way. Even though we scanned them and they are at least in Denver as of now. We get on the plane and Wally put something on the seat next to him while he got situated and when the guy came he said hey threw up his hands and said move it. Sorry bro, you could ask nicely we did not see you and we are getting situated ourselves. The stewards were rude from the get go so they did not get their flight chocolates from Wally and I. We will save it for the flight home from Phoenix to Cali. Wally and I slept a little on the flight and then we landed.

Hello Arizona!! We made our way to the baggage claim and found my aunt and uncle!! We gave them the painting and they loved it! It was so great hugging them and not having to rush to another flight or anything. We were stationary for a while. We waited for our bags but they never came. We went to the American Airlines ticket desk and they said that the bags never got on the plane. We filed a claim and will worry about it tomorrow. 9 months, 15 or so cities, 9 countries and not too many problems with flights and no luggage problems, we get back home and have the worst flights of our whole journey and they lose our luggage. Welcome back! Also, my step dad texted me a pic that I have a jury summons waiting for me. FML!!! Whatever at least we are home to deal with the problem, it is just so frustrating since we had all the bags in our hands in Denver and they just were not put on the very last flight.

We loaded up the car and made our way to the Village Inn, basically a Coco’s/Denny type restaurant. I had refills of ice water, pancakes and extra crispy hash browns! Hells to the yes! It was amazing and everything I could have hoped for. I am so happy to be here with my aunt and uncle! I am sad we did not get to travel with them but at least we get to end our journey with them.  We made our way back home, gave them their gifts (which they loved), got our phones working again and headed to bed. Only 1 more week of writing the blog and then our crazy adventure will be over and we will be on to the next chapter of our lives.

 

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